Vandals
by Emmylou
Summary: The Doctor lands Rose on a planet without sound. My first attempt at fluff ensues…


**Title**: Vandals  
**Rating**: G

**Disclaimer**: My words. Their world.

**Ship**: Ten/Rose

**Summary**: The Doctor lands Rose on a planet without sound. My first attempt at fluff ensues…

**A/N**: From the 'Hush' prompt at tamingthemuse. Set around The Idiot's Lantern time.

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"Oh you are going to _love_ this!" said the Doctor gleefully. "This'll expand your horizons, broaden your mind...test your ingenuity..."

He skipped around the console and his jacket billowed around him as he span into it and bounded out into bright sunlight.

Rose was mere steps behind him, only briefly slowed down by her inside out jacket, before she too was hopping over the threshold of the TARDIS. "What do you mean - test my inge-?"

The words disappeared in the air.

Rose frowned. Her mind had given all the right orders, her vocal chords were working perfectly, but no sound was reaching her ears.

" - " she tried again.

The Doctor turned away innocently, examining the mosaic tiles in the temple like building that they'd landed in. He crouched down, facing away from her. But he was far too still to be appreciating the art.

He had landed them on a planet that had rendered her unable to talk! And judging by his expectant position, he had known about this all along.

Test her ingenuity? _Right._

She strode over to him, realising as she did that her boots made no sound at all on the tiles.  
_  
Riiiiight...  
_  
He was still crouched, probably pissing himself laughing at the confused expression he'd caught before he turned away. 

She stilled and crept slowly up behind him.

Let's see how _Mr-I'm-Not-Ticklish-Really_ liked the sound of silence...

She leapt forward and ran her fingers down his sides. He leapt up and hopped away from her- silently, obviously – his mouth in a perfect 'o' of surprise.

She crossed her arms and rose her eyebrows in an _let's-see-how-you-manage-this-Mr-Tourguide_ movement.

The Doctor, smug as usual, raised one finger. Then he reached into his pocket and triumphantly held up the Psychic Paper.

What was that for?!

Rose had been rubbish at Charades for as long as she could remember. She unfolded her arms and made a general gesture around her.

Any annoyance she was attempting to express was lost on him, because a blissfully oblivious reply appeared.

Gorgeous isn't it? Its name translates as 'Hush'. For obvious reasons. No sound can be heard at all - and all writing is banned.

She held out her hands in a _gimme_ movement. He reluctantly handed the Psychic paper over.

If this is some incredibly elaborate joke about a holiday destination for my mum...

He snatched the Psychic Paper back.

Nah. This is the top marriage retreat destination in the galaxy!

She raised the eyebrow again. He actually looked a bit sheepish.

That's not why we're here obviously The words appeared hastily and were in a slightly smaller, meeker mental hand than usual. It's also famous for its art.

She seized the paper again. Why didn't you tell me this inside?  
  
He pulled a face that was clearly imitating her expression when she had stepped out into the temple. She smacked his arm, but grinned anyway.

He took the psychic paper back. Anyway, we can't stand here reading all day - it _is_ illegal after all. C'mon. We can get arrested later. If you're good.

He tucked the physic paper away, gave her a thumbs up, and bounded off.

They left the temple-like building and came out into a tiny narrow street bustling with a market. Rose had seen her share of alien markets in her time, but this was the first she'd seen going on in absolute silence. No one lips even moved - at least the humans' lips didn't. There were a large number of tall humanoid figures with grey clammy skin and no mouth or ears at all.

Rose tried to point at one without actually, you know, _pointing _at one. She waved her arms around in a movement that she hoped came across as _'they're the natives then?_'

The Doctor, no doubt being thick on purpose, shrugged at her attempts to communicate.

Right- _two_ could play at that game. She veered off dramatically towards a stall and began admiring the items exaggeratedly. Especially as she didn't know what any of them were. She held up one, turned to the Doctor, and rubbed her thumb and two fingers together.

The Doctor patted his pockets theatrically. Smug git.

She put the item down with a blatant pout at the Doctor, and an apologetic wince to the stallholder. She had no time to approach any other stall - the Doctor seized her hand and pulled her through the eerie crowd before any other unidentified objects could catch her eye.

They rounded the corner into a cobbled plaza. The two suns beat down pleasantly onto it and hundreds of tanned and happy looking couples sat gazing into each other's eyes at outside tables that poured out of the sweet smelling restaurants that surrounded them. Clearly it was a great marriage retreat if the smiling people were anything to go by. Then again, how long could you have an argument for when neither of had a clue what the other was saying? There were only so many angry hand gestures you could make, after all. Rose could think of three - and maybe one that was more suited to making up.

In the centre of the square hundreds of beautiful statues rose up into the pink tinged sky. They were beautiful and they clearly represented people and emotions. One grey statue, perhaps six times Rose's height, was unmistakably a weeping girl on her knees. Another was a man, arms stretched out, no mouth, but unmistakeably crying out to the heavens in despair. Others were in groups - a mother and baby, a man and woman with noses pressed together in what seemed to be the native version of kissing.

_Okay, so the art does the talking,_ thought Rose. For once I get it - and without the Doctor yammering on. She wondered how she could point this out without actually telling him.

They wandered through the statues for a while and Rose realised that what she had assumed was dirt on the low levels of the statues, was actually marks left by people. Each statue had hundreds of kiss marks left by lipsticks, and heart shapes made in everything from pencil to chewing gum. People did it as she watched; kissing, drawing - some of them even praying beneath their chosen statues.The Doctor was moving through them all at a slightly faster pace than needed. He seemed to be looking for a specific statue, if the way he stopped to squint up at them every few seconds was something to go by.

They'd reached the middle of the square when he found it, and he pointed upwards triumphantly. It was hard to tell what some of them were - in fact most of them were just legs to the people below. Rose could see that the statue was of two people, who seemed to be embracing, but beyond that she couldn't even see their heads.

She shrugged.

The Doctor pointed again.

Rose looked up and shrugged again.

He rolled his eyes and held his arms out as though he were playing a guitar.

She frowned, confused, trying to understand why music was so special on a silent planet - unless he was being ironic? She played the air guitar back at him with a bemused expression as several couples brushed past on their way to other parts of the display.

He snorted, silently, with laugher and shook his head. Once again he made the gesture, this time wiggling his hips.

_Dancers_! She mouthed it at him, he mouthed it back.

He held up his finger again, cheesy _'you'll like this'_ grin in place, and pulled out the Sonic Screwdriver.

He looked around furtively, set it to '1013 - _etch__and got to work_

Thankfully the Doctor got to the last 'e' in _The Doctor and Rose_ before anyone spotted what he'd permanently etched into the leg of the statue.

A burly grey native was bearing down on them, his whole body language straining to suggest the words _'OI! YOU! YOU'RE NICKED!_'

Rose was still giggling as The Doctor grabbed her hand and they ran.

Silently- obviously.

End.

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**A/N**: Okay, so as above, my first attempt at honest-to-god fluff. I'm not too good at touchy-feely romance, so hopefully it was cute, even without any snogging. Please let me know what you think, it helps me write better.

Let me know what you think!


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